No One Said It's Easy

Having to deal with yourself is the ultimate full-time job. Your thoughts and emotions swirl around you non stop and you never get that break that you so desperately need.
What I had a problem doing though is dealing with them. I, instead, ignored their existence. Pushed them far back in my think tank for future reference.
What typically happens though, is that they come back to haunt me, building up more power sitting in the back waiting to charge at me at the right moment. Usually, they bring other recruits along with them, making it harder to dodge.
I, now try to deal with the emotions that I am feeling at that exact moment. Is it easy? No way. But it's worth every tear because I am still trying to deal with thoughts and emotions from my past.
That is why the book came about and the blog got started. Writing each excerpt is difficult and yet, I feel fulfilled each time.
It's like what Tom Hanks said in 'A League Of Their Own', "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The "hard" is what makes it great."

If I Had Three Wishes

There are quite a few things that I need to change about myself. Some I have already altered, but others need some fixin. Though they are the ones that I have the hardest time doing so.
If, by some magical circumstances, I was given three wishes and I had to choose something that would better myself as a person (minus all the materialistic things and plastic surgery options of course.) My wishes would be....

Wish 1 -- To even out my emotional imbalances. The constant see-saw of mood changes are unbearable at times. They can change from minute-to-minute or day-to-day, never knowing what will trigger me to flip sides. Aren't you glad you don't have to be around me?!

Wish 2 -- My self-esteem to blossom. I know my lack of self-esteem hinders me from doing and saying alot of things. It would do wonders if I could look into the mirror for a few days straight and not pick apart everything I see.

Wish 3 -- An on/off switch for my mind. This too holds me back from accomplishing alot. I would like to turn it off when I have had too much and turn it on when I feel strong enough to continue. My head can lie to me,, make me see things that aren't there. Not that I'm a schizophrenic, but I have the ability to misconstrue a positive and turn it into a negative for no reason at all.
All my wishes are workable. They can be changed and made a reality. I just have to work on them, but it would be so much easier for that Genie to come along and grant me my wishes. Here's to hoping!